I stared

they fell

shocked

petrified

demoralised

lost it all

in awe

terrified

disappointed with myself

stagnant

sluggish

irrationale

unable to judge anymore

i lost it.

I've let you down

I'm sorry.

I've known myself more today. I'm egoistic.

and I've let you down.

I'm sorry.

If only words could describe.

the broken trio concerto

Happy New Year people! its just unbelievably fast that its already 2007! and seriously, I haven't gotten enough of 2006 yet.

been spending most of my nights outside instead of my own home, bad boy eh..haha.. no la..we gotta let loose and play to the max sometimes, especially when this is the only time we can really play..

on the 24th-25th of dec (Christmas Eve)
met some of my friends and tonned outside till the morning while just chatting.. haha..some catching up is needed.

27th of dec
went to mark's house with mavis.. was going there to help out in his Wing Gundam Custom Perfect Grade.. alot of airbrushing to do and that means having to wear a mask and get high on alcohol..haha..but its worthwhile..mavis was playing with luke and doing some of her assignments which i thought was manageable..:p haha.. just a thought. next day did more airbrushing and mark's mum treated me to a restaurant in raffles shopping centre where they serve organic food.. how cool is that? hahah..it sure taste good..hee..and off to home after that..

29th of dec
the day of the prom! never really prepared till around 1.5 hours before meeting time.. bathed, tried out shirt combis,and did my super spiky hair that some said was cool and wei yuan said he seriously hated, ah well.. who cares. (sorry wei yuan, you can't possibly ask me to uncomb my hair) played arcade before we meet (Guitarfreaks) at suntec then off to the prom.. the place is sure big.. and we reached the place late..the surprising thing is that there was no one collecting the tickets! imagine anyone could just walk in and pretend they paid. that's just great. the food was seriously not worth $45 and not filling at all.. so we ended up taking photos everywhere.. good thing i walked around the whole hall, if not wouldn't have seen so many people too..haha.. then photos, catching up.. photos and ...you get the idea.

after the prom finished, the bunch of us( the nicely dressed people) accompanied the girls back to Cornard hotel and sat there to rest a while at the lobby.. then with the girls, we walked to Pan Pac. Hotel and explored the lift..up and down the 30+ storeys 4 times.. then took a bus to Cineleisure where we struggled between pool or movie or that super expensive k box.. in the end i ended up watching movie which got no choice as i had to salvage some situation of Weibin or Jeannie buying an extra ticket causing the unwilling Amanda to go watch as well, so to solve it, I bought Amanda's ticket from her..and watched lo..the movie is ok la..its the Night in the Museum..probably a 3/5..haha..and when we're out.. the rest finished playing pool while hweefen and joey finished watchin the Wicker Man which they say is not worth to watch..ok..glad that i didn't watch with them though..and after that.. the girls waited till around 6 plus and headed back to hotel.. while me, joey, zhi wei, su sian and wei yuan went to Mac to have our breakfast talking alot of crappy stuff and some were my stuff.. (thanks for saying you'll be there for me.. :) ) then waited a few hours till Suntec Arcade were opened and we just played and played and played.. till around 12 we headed home.. as Susian house was still painting, he stayed at my house till 4pm playing games and using my com.. yah..so that's it for the 2 days..

31st of Dec
went out to meet Mark at redhill and took a cab to Expo..(sorry i was late and caused you to waste a $15.20 on the cab fare) once we reached the Expo, the place was crowded, saw lotsa retro people, cuz it was retro-themed. went in, didn't see anyone i know, so well.. get to know people lo..the people i most remembered there was Adrian and Raymond.. others were Glen and Melcolm(sp?), Shynn, Eunice, Hui ling, Ester and others..haha..can't remember for now..sorry.. we jumped and sang songs, joked, took photos and counted down. nothing very spectecular really.. that's what i felt la..probably not in a mood ba..haiz.. anyways..after that we walked, took bus and on the bus i got to know Raymond, who's really a seriously nice guy, talked to him, get to know his past, and talked about Arts and Airplanes and interests and since i was into drawing recently and i brought my Sketchbook along intended initially to show mark , i showed him too..
he reviewed my so far only 4 page sketch book and gave me his valuable opinions and skills of shading and lighting effects..and i was kinda enlightened..haha.. then we reached Esplanade.

didn't really have ppl to talk to, don't know what to talk about too.. so as i felt bored, took out my psp, earphones, borrowed Rayomond's pencil and eraser and at 4.21am completed my 4th sketch.. if i get a chance i will post it here..:) its not that i'm a loner, i'm not. i'm just bored and.. aiya..whatever. then after some serious efforts of trying hitch a cab ride, we got ourselves 3 cabs after booking them. Reached mark's house at 5+ am and left at 6.30am as his mum fetched me to redhill mrt.. then i headed home, slept, woke, ate and now i'm typing this.. yah.. that's all..

sorry.. don't know what's onto me these days too.. hope will be feeling better soon.. the new year just seemed like any other day..

Chimera Charade

Chimerical Charades

The flurry white flakes fall from the sky,
forming a beautiful cascading scene.
Of all palettes, why choose white? why?
the descending flakes have forgotten their colour it seemed.

Amidst the wintry snowy blanket,
I paced alone to destinations of Chimera.
Reminiscing dear memories I kept,
Screaming out those etched feelings of nostalgia.

Is it a dream that I thought it was to be,
Or was it to be a dream I thought it should be?
The lines blurred,hacked,erased and crossed,
never will there be glee,enthuse, hope and remorse.

The trail of steps I left behind,
the every strand of tapestry in my mind,
the attempts to remove the pine,
the very quintessence i'm trying to find...

By: Bryan

I've got the Vibes of the Vibes that it gives :p

ok.. so i know its really kinda long( 1 month) before i last posted here..

well too many things happened..

There's my class chalet in Coasta Sands Resort. I'll just give you a brief outline on what we did there..:) First day, i and some others reached at around 3 plus and played our 3 Psps (Bleah) with games like Loco Roco, Bleach and Bounty Hounds and chatted while the others played cards. After which dinner at food court and the most fun part is the night. We rented a total of 17 bikes( i think) both guys and gals and headed towards changi village when its like 11 plus.. hehe.. actually for some of us our final destination was not changi village.

This is some of our bikes outside changi village.:p



Its the Old Changi Hospital.(sounds creepy?)

here are the photos that we took(no they are not stolen)..haha..you may ask "wth you actually even took photos?" Yeah we did. and a small group of us even wanted to go in again after we came out. heh..;p


Pic1:Well as you can see this is the Old Changi Hospital Building.



Pic2 :and this is the entrance with really steep steps to the building. both dangerous and creepy.



Pic3: the creepy window panels

ok..apparently that's all, there's supposed to be another one of us in the pic but was not uploaded. and erm ok..The reason why I repeated creepy to many times is that Lim Hwee and I heard sounds (sound of something shifted, a bang sound) and he even saw a white figure, well i didn't see it though. When we came out of the building and talking with our classmates who was waiting all along at the bus stop nearby, we saw flashes inside(prolly some ppl like us who ventured in) but hey, its in one of the highest storey like 4th or 5th storey. Who in the hell will go so high? that's creepy ok.

hmmm but the most creepy thing we found is that after zooming in and looking for "things" in our photos using the digital camera, we found spirit orbs(white round bright spots that shows presence of "them") but well it may be lighting right? you might say and even reflections.. who knows? But hey. Here's the thing, we zoomed in around 6 times? (forgot) and we saw that the white spot in pic 2 and 3 had vivid facial features on them especially in pic 2 the entrance. It was said from our further research on another webby that the area surrounding the entrance is dense with "them". Well anyways, its truly a fun, bold and out-of-this-world experience. Get the pun? haha..

second day was returning of the bikes and playing and more playing of arcades and cards and then BBQ night! haha.. I was the FireMan known for starting the fire or getting the fire ready..haha..whatever..but Miss Zhang our civics tutor prepared some yummy bee hoon(at least better that last year's) for us. Then late night, after playing more cards, WeiJie bought a bottle of Absolute Vodka(40% alcohol) for us all who wants to drink. Most guys actually. we mixed it with sprite and coke (1:1 portions)and just drink all of them. But for me.. 2 cups and my face is red.. haha..alotta ppl went a but haywire after that and i just went to sleep.(is that drunk?) haha..but ppl like Jason who's face is never red and don't feel even a single thing after drinking 3 cups can still play cards till morning without sleep. That's awesome i tell you. Awesome XD

Third day we just packed our stuffs and go after playing with the Xbox available there.

Nicest Chalet i've went if you'ld ask me. ^^

Then the second thing that happened was Susian coming to stay over at my house for 5 days and guess what, he just played 5 days straight..haha..that was the time when my ps2 is most extensively used, other than last year's chalet. oh i really miss that time. But anyways, just got a new Gundam game for him so he could play and yah..he just played non stop from morning to night and sometimes, till morning again.Meanwhile we still went out and met out with Weiyuan and also played some arcade over at JE. He's staying so long cuz his house was currently under renovation and thus got no place to sleep so i just took him in..heh..its very fun though..:)

Hiya my dear blog( yes i know it sounds kinda gay):

My As almost to an end now, left a physics paper 3 and a chem paper 1 and for me and some minority, 2 more SUPER EXTRA papers(Chem S paper and Physics S paper) but heck, who cares? I'm still gonna play and I'm still playing everyday, even when exams are on. haha.. some of you may think i'm crazy, why play now?

The reason is, I can't study if i don't play.

Moreover, Its a 3 week long or 4 weeks for me- long ordeal which completely robs me of my personal life and well, my gaming life for now. The only thing that I can do now which is touch-and-go is well, gaming. For after As, its gonna be more gaming(due to more time) and kit modelling and stay-overs.. XD

I'm halfway through my Physics Option Topic now, Physics of Fluids (POF) and well, can't sit still and study, so decided to update my half-month dead blog. haha..my papers are still ok thus far, HOPING to be able to clinch an A or more than one. I guess for GP i may get a B3? and Chemistry probably an A( that is if everything goes well, i seriously doubt the bell-curve will pull down the marks anway, for there aren't much study-freaks out there). And for study-freaks i mean those who study all day long, nothing but study and not only that but selfish acts as not sharing knowledge and rendering help to those in need. It may sound like a FLAMING SESSION, but well the only thing in my mind now is game is studies, so if game doesn't interest you in this entry, perhaps this topic MAY. Well for physics, paper 2 was a killer probably had already stolen As or even passes from many of us now and i SURE hope that tomorrow's paper 3 will be relatively "doable". XD

Haiz.. sometimes while talking to my friends, I somehow feel that my presence is not really felt, well only sometimes that is, and i feels really bad. when you got only your friends to turn to presently. and the thought that keeps coming back to my mind is that whenever i say something that i do and they don't do, or don't know, they would say something similar or quoted " don't care, don't bother". At least show some attention and even if its some made-up interest, it still doesn't matter, for that shows you are at least are willing to listen, but instead, i was immediately SHUT UP with a nonchalant "don't care, don't bother" or " that doesn't concern me anyway". Well , I really doubt these friends of mine will visit and may visit anyway. Its not that i'm angry with them, but i feel rather disappointed and dejected from my friends. Something like not being accepted by your circle of friends, or friend. I guess people are more self-centred when the exams are near perhaps they are preoccupied with more things in mind. or perhaps, just self-centred for they only cares what goes on around them and what they do but not of others.

I repeat, at least for my friend who may be looking at this, its not flaming or whatsoever but just something unpleasant to come out from a friend.haiz.. I wonder..

Ok then, finish ventilating my thoughts, felt much better, back to study!! XD

A Chimera of Distorted Time

Its amidst the As now though and well i got a wish list going on..cuz there's just simply too many things that tempts me! haha.. just for your info, even if its in the exam period like As, i'll still go out and walk sometimes to survey for my kinda " Wish List".

So wondering what I may want? haha

Anyway, Here goes:
1)Logitech White PSP Cover(with replaceable Design Covers)-$35.00
2)Final Fantasy XII Official Guide Book-$32.90
3)Final Fantasy XII(PS2)-$85.00 or ??? :p
4).hack// G.U. Rebirth(PS2)-
5)Shin Megami Tensei-Devil Summoner(Ps2)-

Untouchables at the moment:

6)Monster Hunter Freedom 2-$60.00~$70.00
7)Audio Technica Clip-on Earphones ATH-EM7 GM-$79.00
8)Sony PS3-$700~$900

Well I think that's enough to really wreack an earthquake in your pocket or perhaps eat into your bank reserves, but as I said, this is nothing but a WISH list..^_^

Help..

I'm Depressed.

I'm collapsing inside.